you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
