I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
