I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
