What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
