I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
PANTIES FOUND
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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