And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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