So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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