I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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