Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
