He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
