I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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