Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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