Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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