just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
