In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
