I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
