Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
