I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize