I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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