i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize