i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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