i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
