he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
