I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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