Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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