I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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