I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
