He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
