i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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