How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
