i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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