dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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