It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
