I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I cut my penus on the lid.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
