we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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