Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
