He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
