Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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