I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY