Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
