That's intense
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
