something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
