please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
