Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
