i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
