sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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