I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
A bitchslap is in order.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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