I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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