All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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