i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
