It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
