Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
