ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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