Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You were trust falling into bushes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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