i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
