I have demons in me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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