This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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