just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
