Welp...herpes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
