Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize