Sry I called you an 8
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
