we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......