I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it