Will you blow on my dice?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got inside last night via doggy door
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?