careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize