there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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